yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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