i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
