i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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