But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
