i don't like sucking hair
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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