What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
