tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize