He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
