This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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