Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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