I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
