so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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