just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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