When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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