I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
