TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
