We need to rekindle our bromance
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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