***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
