if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
