Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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