Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.

(480): View more from Arizona

so you punched his junk, right?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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(65): View more from

Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool

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(561): View more from Florida

He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.

(770): View more from Georgia

So it may have been laced, sue me.

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(813): View more from Florida

I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.

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(208): View more from Idaho

eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby

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