If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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