one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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