The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
