need another drink. this is the easiest way
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize