I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
