The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
