What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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