Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize