Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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