i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
