I could make wine with my vomit
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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