Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
