The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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