Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
