So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
