Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The Olympian is in my bed
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
