Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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