Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sext me about skeletons
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
