Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
