Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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