'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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