Your dad touched me again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
