Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
