Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
