i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
