Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Operation Purity has been aborted
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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