This is not my ceiling
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I will be naked everywhere
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
