she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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