Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
