At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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