it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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