drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
