4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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