I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
