GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
