Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
