Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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