I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
