Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We had sex on a dog bed..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
