She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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