I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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