someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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