O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
