I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
