Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
