ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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