we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
