She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
