Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
