Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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