But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
